Do not worry

Matthew 6:25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?"

There's a group of us that are trying to go through the Bible in a year. A typical seminarian's "New Year's Resolution," right? I'm super excited for it because it's an opportunity to read the Bible in its entirety while also reading it in a community. It's very important to always have community, especially in these types of resolutions because people hold each other accountable. When one is low, the other is high. We were built for community. I'm really looking forward to keeping this resolution. 

So today, we read Genesis 14-16 and Matthew 6. I think the Bible is pretty awesome in this regard that whenever I read it, there is always something that is very applicable to my situation. When I got to this passage about "Do not worry," I began to be convicted. Yesterday, I spent the majority of the day worrying about financial stuff. Money isn't a luxury that I have right now. Granted, I'm a full-time student, but I still worry about money. I worry about having enough money for books, for food, for coffee, for dates, for gas, and now I'm worried about this dermatologist thing. I have really good insurance, or at least I thought I did. PTS requires health insurance for all students, and there aren't any options for us as we buy them. I pay $2,800 a year for coverage. Kind of ridiculous. I thought that my insurance covered dermatologist visits, but it looks as though I have to meet some kind of deductible for it to be covered. I'm still figuring out the details, but I got two bills from my dermatologist here and dermatologist in New Jersey. Because I did tanning beds for a bit (five years, but who's counting...), I had multiple moles that had to be removed. One mole, though, turned out to be pre-cancerous and needed further removal. The dermatologist in Franklin recommended that I go to my dermatologist in New Jersey to have it removed. But the dermatologist in New Jersey needed a consultation with me before removing it. I met with the doctor for five minutes. $135. On top of the $135 to the other dermatologist and not including the cost of the procedure for the further removal. 

Needless to say, money is not a luxury I have. 

Yesterday, I made some calls, did some emails, and tried to find a temporary job before school starts while I'm in Princeton for a few weeks. I tried different people, and they all kind of fell through. However, I finally got a hold of someone who said that they had a position for me at the library. Minimum wage. But it's money that I didn't have. 

I think God answers prayers. 

I take that back. I know God answers prayers. I know God answers all prayers. But sometimes the prayers that we say aren't what God wants for us. I was worrying about money, unsure of what to do, wondering if I needed to take out another loan...and then God gave me a little sign that God was listening. It wasn't huge. It didn't completely change my situation. It did, however, remind me to not worry. I lean not on my own understanding. My life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven. I give it all to you, God, trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me.

I'm still concerned about what's going to happen with this whole dermatologist thing. It is money. But I know that I'm in the Lord's economy.