Shadow

Do you ever feel like a shadow of yourself? Where you're too far gone to cry out for help? And everything you touch turns into hell.
And pride kicks and consumes every cell. 

Sometimes it feels like I'm on my own. 

That I'm left to my own thoughts. Prisoner in my own rite. Thinking to myself this can't be life. This isn't living.
The world keeps taking and I keep giving. 

I can't do this anymore. I can't go through the emotions and feelings and devastation.
God, where are you? I need some help. It seems as though I'm by myself. 

It seems as though everything I touch goes to hell.
I'm not alone. 

God, you're right beside me. I'm not trapped. I have you inside me.
Jesus Jesus. I need so much of you. If I have to give more of myself then I'll just burn out. 

I need your fire. I need it in my heart.
God, I feel so alone but I know that you know every detail of my life and that you are working all things out because I trust you.

 I put my whole heart in your hands withholding nothing from you. You have the plan. I am just the man. I surrender to you Jesus. 

Come and fill me and breathe life into me. 

My God. I know you haven't left me or forsaken me, but I feel as though I'm on my own and it's taking so long for you to answer me. 

Will I even like the answer that you give me? Will I even respond? Will I be like Job content with your answer?
 I don't know.
 I know that I need to talk to you and I want you to talk to me. 

I know you hear me but I want to hear you too. I feel empty so I need you to fill me.
I feel broken so Lord come heal me. I am hurt so Jesus restore me. 

I'm distraught so Holy Spirit comfort me.
 I need you. I always do. 

But I need you now more  than I normally do. Jesus just the hem of your garment can heal, so I reach for you. I know and have faith that you can restore and heal and rejuvenate these dry bones. God, I am in your hands. 

Broken but not destroyed. Persecuted but not abandoned. I am in you. And you in me.