A word

Have you ever had someone say something to you that at first sounded like the stupidest thing in the world but after a little bit, it started to make more sense? I mean, I've heard a lot of stupid things in my life. Sometimes words that are spoken over someone click and jive with the individual. Sometimes they just fall flat. I remember the first time someone said that they could see me as a pastor. Was this one of those words that would fall flat? I was young at the time. Young, wild, and restless. But it sounded like the stupidest thing in the world. Why would I want to be a pastor? I didn't like the church. I wanted nothing to do with the church. I couldn't see myself doing anything in the church. Me a pastor? No way.

But after a long time, things started to go in that direction. For most of my life, I've tried to create my own path. I grew up hiking trails, and it's a lot easier to use the paths that have been created by other hikers. I was oblivious at the time, but as I look back at my life, though it's really not that much at only 22 years, I can see the way that I was wired and what gave me joy and what I was passionate for: justice and righteousness. I think I've already had a post or a section talking about these two words, so I won't go into too much detail now. However, things started to line up and led me to where I am today.

A year ago, another word was spoken into my life that I haven't really begun to shake off. It was a year before I was going to begin seminary, and I was really jazzed to start. I was only thinking about what would seminary be like, would I fit in, would it be a good fit for me, and all the things that people think about starting something new. But this guy said, "You know what? You should plant a church up there in New Jersey. Princeton needs a Vineyard." This guy has a really sweet Northeastern accent, so I can remember his voice clearly in my head.

When this was said to me, I was taken off guard to be honest. I felt like I was already doing the right thing by going to seminary, that I was properly responding to the call/word that I had gotten at a younger age, and I was hardly thinking about what I was going to do in seminary let alone afterwards.

But the more I process this word. The more I pray about it. The more I start to think about it. The more sense it makes. I mean why not? I'm young. I'm wild. I'm restless. Planting a church is probably the most stressful thing in the world. I don't have firsthand experience, but if I count the grey hairs on my dad's head before and after, I think that's as much data as I need: it's hard work. It's not something to be treated lightly. Nor is any vocation.

Not all pastors are called to plant. Not all planters are called to be pastors.

I'm going to continue praying about this word. To test it with The Word. And maybe it'll make more sense further down the road. I got two more years of seminary, so that's plenty of time to figure out what God is calling me to... But keep me in your prayers as I try to figure it all out. I'm like 75% sure that I'm supposed to be a pastor, and that's good enough for me, but I'm not entirely sure if I'm called to plant.