Hindsight

In Arrested Development, there's a quote by Warden Gentles who says after a failed allusion, "I don't know why I always assume everyone has read my screenplay."

Sometimes I feel this way after writing something on this journal for all the world to see. It might not even be that big of a deal, but I know other "writers" and bloggers who write things with the intention of having others read them. That's the goal and dream and aspiration.

However, one of the reasons why I started blogging in the first place was to have an electronic copy of my thoughts. It's really awesome way to at least see where I've been, how I thought, what I did, and so on.

Back in my younger angry prophet days, I wrote raps. I love(d) rap, so I wrote these rhymes and lyrics with the hope of both impressing others with my rhyming capabilities and also to blow off some steam. I am by no means a Marshall Mathers or a Soulja Boy for that matter. I just liked rhyming things, and I still do. But there was like this huge shift that occurred in me where I no longer felt like I could write these things. They were dirty, laden with profanities, and I felt super convicted that I had even written these things. I mean, I'm a Christian...and like it says in James 1:26, "Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless."

Yikes.

So I stopped writing these raps with the cursing, but I still loved rhyming. I constantly am thinking of rhymes. I always have a "song on my heart;" I love to sing, and I love to belt out a tune. The way that I redeemed my raps was by making them, for a lack of a better word, holier. I turned them into prayers. I turned them into conversations with God. Instead of putting on a facade and pretending like I had everything figured out, I turned these conversations into times of intimacy with God. And they've been super beneficial. I've been writing these prayers for more than two years, and I send them out to whoever wants them (and most people don't even want them, but it's now become a habit to include them in the group text...whoops.)

As I have mentioned in earlier posts, this has been a big semester. Lots of changes. Lots of things going on. It's a little hard balancing everything together. But thanks be to God who is much more in charge than I ever will be. I went back through some of my poems, and there was one that was super awesome. Not because of its literary style or structure, but because everything that I wrote was applicable to my current situation. Now, mind you, this was written more than three months ago, so that alone is awesome that something written back then can be used today.

So moral of the story is: I guess I'm a blogger? I've gotten into trouble for some things that I've said and written, but I started this thing mainly as a way to document my poems. They're not really good. By no means are they comparable to Frost, Shakespeare, or anyone. I'm just some guy who writes things that come to my head. This is for me.

And if this blog can help you, then that's a double-bonus. God gives us these gifts and talents that are great and fantastic. But they're not simply for us to enjoy. They are the gifts of God for the people of God. We are part of this community of fellow humans.

I feel kind of weird self-referencing, but I will do it anyways. http://sternswords.blogspot.com/2014/07/your-love-is-hope-inside-me.html