Man of God

I don't know how to begin. 

Where do I even start? 

You know my heart and you know my sin. 

I admit that that I am not all that I should be. 

I confess that I could be a little bit better than I was before. 

And I know every time I mess up how I separate myself from you. 

I don't know why I do this to myself. 

I need your help. 

I want to do this life more intentionally. 

I want to be mentally, spiritually, and physically your follower. 

I don't want to settle for anything less than the promise that you have for me.

 I don't want to create my own luck. 

I want to hold onto the word that you've given me that you would be my God and Lord and that I would be one of your people. 

I know that I've wandered in the desert and I know that I've made a mess of things.

But thank you for your grace. 

Should I continue sinning so that it can abound? 

Gosh no. 

Your grace motivates me to be a better version of myself. 

Your Holy Spirit pushes me and urges me and teaches me to be your follower. 

I would be nowhere without your grace and I know that I haven't earned a place at your table yet you still offer a seat to me. 

You call me to communion. 

You call me to draw near to you. 

But I sin. 

I fall short. 

I do what I don't want to do and I know what I should do but I don't do what I could do so would you come and help me to be a person of God? 

I can't do this on my own. 

I wish I could. 

I would much rather not rely on anyone other than myself. 

But that's not the way you've made this place.

 You've wired us to need your help. 

We are drawn to you and sometimes we don't even know how or why. 

But here we are and there you are.

 Even though I am a sinner and not anywhere close to being called a child of God, you call me and reach out to me. 

That's the scandal of grace.

 I may not understand it but it would be foolish for me to turn down something freely given. 

I sin, yet you still love me. 

I'm a man, but you call me to be a man of God.