Hebrews 12

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners, so that you may not grow weary or lose heart.

I have been putting this off for a long time now. I constantly am being reminded of Jamie, whether it's a song, someone wearing a Michigan jersey, or just anything. I didn't want to write this because I don't think that I could ever really articulate the way that Jamie has impacted me and continues to impact me. I didn't want to do him a disservice by writing a sloppy blog post. He wasn't my best friend. I was just a kid when he passed away. I was still figuring out my role in this world. I was completely immature. I was running away from my calling; I was not taking my faith seriously. This is my tribute to Jamie Caulk, whose death shook up my world and caused me to draw closer to God. 

He was driving back from Nashville and was hit by a semi-truck. He went into a coma, suffered a stroke, and basically all of his organs lost their ability to function, so his family decided to take him off life support. This happened over the course of about a week. That week was probably the closest that I had ever been to God. It's during these extremely stressful times that you get to see who you really are, and I got to see and feel the comfort of resting in God's presence. No human could give me rest like God did during those sleepless nights. The whole campus stayed up praying for Jamie, for a miracle, for restoration, for peace, for anything. We just wanted God to show up and do something big because it was out of the doctor's hands, so the only way that Jamie would have gotten better was by divine intervention.

His birthday just came and went, March 6th, so I've been thinking about him a lot. Honestly, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about him. I only knew him for a short time, so I can't even imagine the pain that his family feels. But we serve a God who endures the pain with us, who came to serve, to die so that we would never die, to give us hope when days get tough.

At his eulogy, Jamie's uncle opened up his speech with this verse in Hebrews. It comes directly after the great "Hall of Faith" in Hebrews 11, and the writer of this book wants to encourage his readers to not lose heart. To use these great people of faith as testimonials to build them up. To remind us that God has a plan. 

That God is faithful and just even in death. 

There is no convenient time for death. It never happens at a time when we're okay with our loved ones not being with us. But death is a part of the fall of humanity, but it is not the end. The joy of the Lord is that we get to spend eternity in heaven. I don't want to think that "God got another angel..." or "He/She's in a better place..." Those don't take the pain away from us. Those don't comfort the ones left behind. 

But God does. 

This verse, Hebrews 12:1, has been somewhat a life verse the past couple years because it has given me comfort. It has also pushed me into taking my faith more seriously, to really let go of all the pains and struggles of this world, and to find comfort only in God. Because of Jamie's life and unfortunate passing, I am closer to God and taking my walk with the Lord more seriously. I probably would not be in seminary had it not been for Jamie. Not only did Jamie's uncle use this verse, but it was also the theme verse for a night of worship that we held on campus at Lee University. These two events, Jamie's passing and the night of worship, were brought together by this verse. It doesn't make the pain any less real, and I don't expect that I'll ever fully know why it had to happen at all.

So going back to that verse, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, I can always remember that Jamie is in that cloud of witnesses. And as Jamie said, "Stay strong, stay faithful, stay honest, stay loving, stay true to who you are, most importantly stay true to who God is and you'll be who you are, and you'll be happy, you'll be you, you'll be free."

Jamie, thank you for your dedication to God. There is not a day that goes on where I don't think about you. Your life, your service, your love, and your smile are always missed.