I just want more

I pray not for the ability to love. Not for wisdom. Not for guidance. Not for faith. Not for trust. But I pray for the revelation of God in my life. I pray for the heart of God. If I pray for that, love will come, and wisdom, and guidance, and everything that makes up God. I shouldnt search for the byproducts of a relationship with Him. I should only seek Him and Him alone. If I put Him first, everything else will come. I worry about my future so much, but where is my trust? I forget that God is the author of everything and that includes me. Did I forget everything He does? He made this planet and knows the hairs on my head. He knows when I rise and when I go to bed. Why do I ask for my faith to increase when I'm too afraid to really trust in God? If I just seek Him and put my trust in Him alone, I'll be okay. I may not have complete control of the situation, but did I really have it in the first place? If I want to have the heart of God, then pray for that. I wont pray for the attributes of God when I can pray just for Him.