Bring me back

My God my God, why hast thou forsaken me? 

Why do I feel so far from you. 

I know you can hear me. 

But I want you near me. 

Can't you see me? 

I'm right here. Suffering. Hurting. Feeling all kinds of pain. 

And it never seems to go away. 

If you're the God of comfort, why do I feel the opposite? 

I don't mean to sound pessimistic. But why God?

 I go to church. I pray. I tithe. I help others. I invite you in. 

So why does all this happen to me? 

Because this world is fallen. 

It's not the way that you meant it to be. 

This pain and suffering is not part of your plan for man. 

It's in this world but you didn't create evil. 

You allow it to happen, but that doesn't mean that you create it.

 You're love. Full of it. Your very essence is agape. 

In you, there is no pain or hurts or trials or tribulations. 

You are perfect Lord. And it's you I adore. 

When this world throws all that it has at me, you're my anchor in the raging sea. 

When things go awry, you calm the thundering skies. 

You don't create chaos. 

You correct it. 

You bring order back out of this mess. 

I know that I can trust you but I want to know it more. 

I want to be so in love with you. 

I don't want it to be contingent upon my circumstances. 

I want my feelings and faith in and for you to not waver at the drop of a hat. 

I want it to be like a fact. 

Unchanging. Solid. Like a rock. You are my rock. My hope. My salvation. 

Give me life to sustain this hellish life. 

And bring me back into your arms which make all wrongs right.